Updated: Apr 23, 2021
Let me ask you some questions.
In a world where social media is the place to be, should we just accept that people are going to make comments about our bodies without our permission?
Right now, body positivity is blowing up and yet I find myself wondering, should we just accept that some people will need to tell you that they don't like your body even though it's none of their business?
I, for one, am not here for that.
Do you see what I did there? I made it mine, not yours.
In a world where you can say pretty much whatever you want to online, perhaps we should focus our attention on how we can build each other up rather than finding fault in people and feeling the need to tell them that.
We’re beginning to realise that unsolicited and negative comments left by people online; feeling the need to invite themselves into someone's little corner of the Internet, just to make them feel like shit, tends to be very telling of the person that they are.
Way back when we had magazines with airbrushed celebs and size 0 models. This was something young people aspired to be like, young women wanted the airbrushed skin, the thigh gap, and the collar bones.
But then they realised this wasn’t real.
These days, we know that women don’t wake up wearing a Victoria Secret bikini with perfect hair and make-up, with perfect skin and no excess body fat.
Now we’re seeing a shift; we’re seeing women celebrating and advocating inclusivity and body positivity. We are celebrating all body types and allowing people to find confidence in their own bodies... Finally!
Celebrities and influencers have been victims of the damage caused by callous comments left on their pictures, but this still isn’t good enough for those whose purpose in life appears to be to tear people down.
The trolls have moved on from the ‘everyday female body’ to attack those who are striving so hard for change - those who support body positivity. In their eyes how can someone who doesn’t have the perfect body (whatever that is) possibly be an advocate for body positivity and body acceptance?
Why do we expect new mothers to just bounce back and get back into their pre-preggo jeans 3 minutes after pushing a human baby out of them?
We expect young women to defy their physiology and diet down to a size that fits a social norm, often leaving them without a functioning menstrual cycle, leading to some pretty damaging health impacts.
I am all about women feeling comfortable in their skin. I have ladies come through my coaching programme because they have been led to believe their body isn't acceptable. They've come to me depressed and begging me to help them change.
Some of these ladies have graduated from my programme without a smaller body, but with a much healthier relationship with food and a vastly improved self-image.
They’ve realised that a smaller body wasn't actually what they wanted, but instead, they wanted;
The confidence to accept their body the way it is
To love their body for doing exactly what they needed it to every single day
To feel at peace with the body that gave them a family
These ladies found a way to exercise that didn't make them want to give up every 5 minutes. They learned to exercise for enjoyment, for health, for strength, and for empowerment! They began listening to their bodies and giving it what it was asking for; sometimes that’s chicken and veggies and sometimes that’s a cup of tea and a doughnut mid-morning. This is how we begin to disassociate guilt with food.
A smaller body isn't always a healthier body and you don't need to let people online tell you that it is - because usually, they don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.